Arno Michaelis
on Peacebuilding and Life after Hate
A Neo-Nazi skinhead. A reverend of a self-declared Racial Holy War. The lead singer of a hate-metal band.
A peacemaker. A speaker against violent extremism. A specialist at Parents For Peace. The author of My Life After Hate.
How would these people interact? What could they possibly have to say to one another?
A lot. Because they are the same person. Arno Michaelis. His past and present selves colliding in a story of radical transformation: “Monsters are not created by God. They are shaped by the society we live in. By us. By hatred, suffering, isolation.” And Arno knows it better than anyone.
For seven years, he was a white nationalist skinhead. During that time, he lived in fear and anger, driven by a violent ideology that twisted history into mythology and cast him as a hero in a delusional war: “My ‘heroism’ was hollow. I grew up in a house where emotional violence was the norm. As a teenager, I reacted by lashing out and hurting people, by being a bully at school and committing acts of vandalism. I was an angry, lonely kid, searching for identity, purpose, and belonging. I found it, or thought I did, in a fantasy: the idea that I was part of a master race under siege.”
He was sold the illusion of power: “It made total sense to me, probably because nothing else in my world was making sense.” Violence became a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more he projected into the world, the more the world gave it back to him, reinforcing his paranoia: “It was my means of self-destruction and stimulation. I radiated hostility.”
Suddenly, everything shifted. Becoming a dad created the distance he needed to step back. Then came 2012, when a white supremacist opened fire in a Sikh temple in Wisconsin, killing six people, including the father of trauma therapist Pardeep S. Kaleka. Searching for answers, he reached out to Arno to understand: Why would anyone murder good people with senseless cruelty? The two became unlikely friends and co-founded Serve2Unite, teaching human kindness to children and adults, and speaking together worldwide against violent extremism. Their jointly written book, The Gift of Our Wounds, tells the remarkable story of how friendship grew out of a horrific hate crime.
“Hurt people hurt people,” Arno reflects. “When suffering isn’t treated with compassion, it spreads. When fear isn’t met with courage, it disconnects humans from humanity. When ignorance isn’t countered with wisdom, it takes root in the hearts of the fearful. When hatred isn’t cradled with kindness, it can corrupt the beauty of existence to the extreme that causing suffering is the only thing that makes sense.”
Read Arno’s surprising story of redemption and remember: “If we can find the strength to forgive, we can answer tragedy with unconditional love for the entire humanity. We can find the gift in the wound.”
Thank you, Arno, for being a Parent for Peace!
#INSPIRATORS QUESTIONNAIRE
Name: Arno Michaelis
Company / Institution: Parents for Peace
Title: Peer Exit Specialist/Comms Executive, Storyteller
Website: parents4peace.org
LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arnomichaelis/
Country of origin: USA
Country you currently live in: USA
Your definition of Regeneration: Mindfulness that each moment is a new one, and that every breath we take in our entire lives is a unique experience. Genuine love for our spaceship Earth and a dedication to keeping her in proper working condition.
Main business challenge you face: I’m in the business of coaching families with radicalized loved ones in how to create environments that are most conducive to that person’s recovery, guiding individuals who are under the influence of hate towards healthier paths, and training frontline personnel in best practices in addressing extremism.
So, my biggest challenge is funding. People, young and old, are addicted to screens. Human society is more polarized than ever.
Funding. Binary thinking. Conspiracy theories. Hurt people, hurt people. Funding. Rampant loneliness. Bullying. Screens. …and funding.
Main driver that keeps you going: Faith that human existence is a basically (as-in primally) good experience. The truth that all human beings are worthy of compassion, are capable of showing it, and have far more in common than otherwise. My daughter’s smile and the intention for all humans to see their loved ones smile often.
The trait you are most proud of in yourself: I’m really good at closing bags of snacks and such so that they stay fresh for a longer period. Folding towels. Ordering sparkling water in 9 languages. Kicking everyone’s asses at meditating. And not taking life too seriously.
The trait you most value in others: Silliness. I think that’s why I get along well with little kids. The absolute absurdity of humanity is my jam.
Passions & little things that bring you joy: Being in a warm ocean. Being in a cold ocean (especially if I'm jetlagged!). Reading. Music. NHL hockey. College and NFL football. Food. Film. My wee granddog Basil Tortellini: he’s a chihuahua, and he’s The Most Interesting Dog in the World. Finding a new favorite color every day. Travel.
The Inspirators who determined you to take the regenerative path:
· Thich Nhat Hanh
· Jerry Seinfeld
· Guru Nanak
· Larry David
· The Buddha
· Kahlil Gibran
· The Beastie Boys
· Frederick Douglass
· MLK
A starting point for companies or professionals that are beginning the regeneration journey: Consider how practices of kindness, gratitude, and forgiveness can transform an organization.
Most used and abused clichés in sustainability that bother you: I can't think of any that bother me at the moment. Somewhat unrelated: I do find corpspeak absolutely hilarious and love it when people unironically say things like “ping you” and “circle back”.
An honest piece of advice for young people who lose hope: Love the world with every ounce of authenticity you have, and it will love you back. You will find what you look for in life, so be mindful of what you seek. Understand the truth of cultivation: that every thought is a seed that can become an action that is also a seed that can yield the intention in our hearts. The lotus blooms in mud.
Books that had a great impact on you / Must-Reads for any regenerative professional:
· Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
· Racecraft: The Soul of Inequality in American Life by Barbara J. Fields and Karen Fields
· The Old New Land by Theodor Herzl
· Touching Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh
· Deviate: The Science of Seeing Differently by Beau Lotto
· Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Father Greg Boyle
· Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
· The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
· The Stand by Stephen King
Movies / Documentaries you would watch all over again: Bladerunner, Refuge, Her, The Shining, Mad Max: Fury Road, Taxi Driver, This is Spinal Tap, My Octopus Teacher, You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
Websites / Podcasts you visit frequently:
…I listen to mostly music, not many podcasts, but I enjoy Bradley Tusk’s Firewall podcast.
Music that makes you (and your heart) sing: Freddie King, Céu, Mallu Magalhães, Black Sabbath. Everything Dio has ever done, including his 2-record stint in Black Sabbath. Really good House/Techno. Dwight Yoakam, The Beastie Boys, The Rolling Stones.
Places you travelled to that left a mark on you: Tangier, Morocco; NYC; Sydney, Australia; Copenhagen, Denmark; The entire state of Florida; The entire state of California; Auschwitz; New Delhi, India; Geneva, Switzerland.
Global Regenerative Voices you recommend us to follow:
· Chloe Valdary
· Bradley Tusk
· Chris Caresnone
· Montana Tucker
· Yuval Noah Harari
· Coleman Hughes
· Mubin Shaikh
· Africa Brooke
· Thich Nhat Hanh
Reasons to feel optimistic about our future in 2030: More and more parents and children are opting for screen-free childhoods. More and more people are realizing the toxic futility of race and seeing themselves and others as unique individuals instead of capitulating to racial identities. The indomitable hope and aspiration of our young people.
Reasons to feel pessimistic about our future in 2030: Multiple generations raised on screens who are conditioned to expect instant gratification. Bad actors who exploit the indomitable hope and aspiration of our young people.
Regenerative Leadership qualities much needed today: Critical thinking (real-critical thinking, not just putting the word “critical” into dogmatic ideologies); Seeing ourselves in others, and others in ourselves. Humility. Being fairly confident that certainty is problematic. Mindfulness.
The Inspirator(s) you are endorsing for a future edition:
Mubin Shaikh
The quote that inspires you:
“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” (Khalil Gibran)
Your quote that will inspire us:
